Will You Be Having The Curry?

This poem was entered into the King of Terrors Poetry Contest on the Poetry Soup website. Under the contest description, it simply said, "No Rules!" 

So, of course, I decided to be cheeky at the beginning of my entry.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you're mistaken."

Screenshot From Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

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Will You Be Having The Curry?

"We've got to have rules, otherwise it's just chaos." 

— Tim Curry as Cardinal Richelieu from The Three Musketeers

As a lad of ten,

He saw his father die,

Instead of hiding in his den,

He went and stole a pie.

His real father,

Was hospital bound,

"Take care of your mother."

Was a request quite profound.

His mother was cold,

Off to boarding school he went,

Don't mistake genetics for love,

Need a soul to repent.

There is a moral,

But it is often lost,

Like a pebble in a frozen desert,

Covered in Hell's frost.

All the bodies float,

Down here below,

That is your fate.

Welcome to the show.

The Lord of Darkness,

Shadow solace embrace,

Dark of the night,

With Vecna-level makeup on my face.

Are dreams my specialty?...

It's really nightmares.

Hold tight your orphans,

With gun he scares.

I see you shiver,

With anticipation,

You know not what you've done.

Understand your situation.

Where's my chainsaw?

Where's that Meatloaf of a man?

I'll cut his skull open,

And complete my plan.

One plus one,

Plus two plus one,

Whatever the answer,

Murder will be fun.

Get a Clue!

What weapon did you bring?!

What color's your identity?

What witty remark or body will the butler fling?!

You do what you can't do in reality,

Very liberating playing foul,

Get paid to be evil,

Trade a smile for a scowl.

Maybe larger than life,

Living on the Margins of Sanity,

Polite Society be damned,

Embrace the Anarchy.

In the shadows,

Humor presides,

Being goodie two-shoes is boring,

Let the bodies collect flies.

Evil has sense,

Theatricality in droves,

Be who you are,

Throw lies and bodies in the stoves.

People expect villains,

Sans makeup to be scary,

When faces are naked,

Perceptions may vary.

Make authority absolute,

Pair it with cruelty and disregard for human life,

You don't need makeup to be scary,

If you do it right....

Clowns to the left of me,

Jokers to the right,

Being stuck in the middle,

Compels me to fight.

Gas clouds,

Noxious Muck,

Slime beneath me,

Monster will suck.

Trees, animals, the world,

What's in the air,

Hexxus destroys it.

See if society cares!

The whole world is on fire,

It's all going to shift,

The climate is expendable,

And the environment is taking a hit.

Tim Curry was A King of Terror,

He wore evil like a boss,

He kept acting in voice,

When he suffered a loss.

Reality can be more scary,

Than the fiction we watch and read,

Getting up after falling,

Is a masterful feat indeed.

Disclaimer: One of my words needed to be PG-ratified. Take a guess which one.

Poet's Notes:

This poem is essentially my attempt to answer one question:

What happens when you take Tim Curry's villains, characters, quotes, songs, interviews, and general theatricality and throw them all into one poem?

Apparently, chaos happens.

Fortunately, the contest said "No Rules!" 😂

I had to organize the chaos somehow, so here is what I was doing.

The Beginning: A Little Tim Curry History

"What an imagination. First pirates, now talking parrots, what's next - a singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park?"

The Muppets Tribute Image to Tim Curry, An Honorary Muppet

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The opening stanza comes from lyrics sung by Tim Curry's Long John Silver character in Muppet Treasure Island in the song "Professional Pirate". The third line is my own poetic license.

The next two stanzas were inspired by a television interview Tim Curry had with the TCM guy. Some of the details in those stanzas are also my poetic interpretation of what I took from the interview.

Then comes:

There is a moral,

But it is often lost,

Like a pebble in a frozen desert,

Covered in Hell's frost.

The first two lines are inspired by a quote from Tim Curry's character Drake in The Pebble and the Penguin:

"Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it."

Drake from The Pebble and the Penguin

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The pebble is a nod to the movie itself. "Hell's frost" then gives me an excuse to transition toward Tim Curry's portrayal of the Lord of Darkness in Legend. 

And then we get to Pennywise.

Enter the Terrors

The floating-bodies stanza represents Pennywise from It. The first part is based on one of Pennywise's most recognizable lines:

"They all float down here."

Pennywise From It

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I changed the ending to "Welcome to the show" because Pennywise is a clown, and a creepy clown is essentially a performer who has ultimately decided that your terror is tonight's entertainment. (Lucky you....) Evil laughter ensues....

It also gave me an opportunity to make a cheeky invitation to the show of this poem.

Then I moved on to Tim Curry's Lord of Darkness from Legend.

The lines about shadows and the dark of night are inspired by a quote from the character:

"I am the Lord of Darkness. I require the solace of the shadows and the dark of the night."

Screenshot from Legend

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I also learned that the character required extensive makeup. I had recently watched an interview with the actor who plays Vecna in Stranger Things discussing the extensive makeup process for that character, so I decided to throw a little Vecna-level makeup into the mix.

Why not?

"A respectable member of the medical community once told me 

that money can make anyone look beautiful." — Daria Morgendorffer

Quote from MTV's Daria Episode #109 "Too Cute"

Screenshot of Vecna from Stranger Things

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Then comes another quote from the Sandman from Captain Planet and the Planeteers. At least, that was what I thought when I wrote the poem. 

The AI Overview I used claimed that a character that does NOT exist said the line in question in a television show that DID exist.

Well...that's helpful. 😂

Apparently, even when you're writing a poem involving the Lord of Darkness, you have to watch out for the possibility that your research assistant will send you down the wrong path. 

More chaos. That figures.

Maybe AI is the real Lord of Darkness now. 😈

Once I checked the quote against the actual Legend source, I found that it really does come from the Lord of Darkness:

"All things change, lady. The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity. 

 Dreams are my specialty. Through dreams, I influence mankind..."

I turned that into nightmares because, well... we're writing a King of Terrors poem here.

The reference to holding tight to orphans comes from Tim Curry's Rooster Hannigan in Annie.

Horror, Rocky Horror, and Clue

The next several stanzas are where the poem really starts having fun with Tim Curry's ability to play larger-than-life characters.

"Burning bright, there's a guiding star, No matter what or who you are."

Speaking of larger-than-life characters...

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The lines about shivering with anticipation come from Dr. Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show:

"I see you shiver with anticip... ation."

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And I don't care that the image converting tools I use online make mistakes and shoes become hands where feet should be... "Embrace the Anarchy." 😜😈

"Hot patootie, Bless my soul, Really love that rock and roll."

Meatloaf's Eddie and Curry's Dr. Frank-N-Furter

Screenshot From The Rocky Horror Picture Show

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The chainsaw, skull, and Meatloaf references continue the Rocky Horror theme. The musician Meatloaf literally appears in the movie, so I couldn't resist turning his name into a very different sort of description.

Then I threw Clue into the poem. Did you get it...?

Image Associated With Press For A Movie

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"There's a homicidal maniac about."

Colorful Characters in Clue Film

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The math stanza is a direct reference to Wadsworth's wonderfully unnecessary mathematical correction about the number of bullets left in the revolver in the film:

"Even if I was wrong, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one."

Because apparently even murder mysteries need mathematical precision and skills of elocution.

That was a mouthful, sir.

Screenshot of Elocution Coach Dr. Poole From the Film Oscar

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And naturally, if we're talking about Clue, we need weapons, colorful character identities, butlers, and bodies. 

("Shake, Rattle, and Roll" playing in the background on a record.)

Clue-related Image

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Enjoy the following gag images...

Bug Eyes & Claw Teeth

Long John Silver and Polly Lobster

Characters from Muppet Treasure Island

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Gardening Love - Robber Quartet

FernGully Image

Hexxus Robber Clone Jutsu

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There Can Only Ever Be One Disney Candlestick...

So Here's A Blowgun Instead...

Who Needs a Rope When You Can Have A Fabric Sheet...

Weird Weapons Tray

Clue-Related Image

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The Bellybutton

Can't Take This Image Seriously With Skin Showing...

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Image

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Vecna Isn't On Another Planet or In Another Dimension...

Star-Gazing Vecna on Wilderness Vacation — Vecna Selfie

Stranger Things Image

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Tim Curry on Playing Villains

The next several stanzas aren't based on one particular movie. Instead, they draw from things Tim Curry has said about acting, villains, horror, comedy, and the kinds of characters he enjoys playing.

Some of the ideas that inspired me include his comments about how liberating it is to play villains because actors can do things in fiction that people aren't allowed to do in real life--and get paid for it.

I also drew from his descriptions of being attracted to characters who are:

• larger than life,
• on the margins of sanity,
• outside polite society,
• and capable of wonderful theatricality.

That led to lines such as:

You do what you can't do in reality,

Very liberating playing foul,

Get paid to be evil,

Trade a smile for a scowl.

(I briefly considered spelling "foul" as "fowl", since Tim Curry has also played an evil bird. 🐧 ) 

And:

Maybe larger than life,

Living on the Margins of Sanity,

Polite Society be damned,

Embrace the Anarchy. 

 

"It's Showtime!"

Screenshot From Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

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Then Converted That Second Image to Marvel Comic Style

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I also wanted to play with the idea that evil can be entertaining. That's where the theatricality, humor, bodies, and "goodie two-shoes" lines come from. 

The line about people expecting villains to be frightening without makeup also comes from Tim Curry's comments about how people sometimes expect him to be terrifying in real life.

Apparently, a person who has played Pennywise and the Lord of Darkness is not necessarily terrifying while drinking a cup of tea.

Who knew? 😂

Oh Deer! - Whatever Shall I Do?

Image of Alastair - The Radio Demon - Drinking Tea

Character in Hazbin Hotel Series

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The line:

Be who you are,

is also a nod to Dr. Frank-N-Furter's famous:

"Don't dream it, be it."

Cardinal Richelieu

The next stanza brings us back to the character from the epigraph: Cardinal Richelieu in The Three Musketeers.

I had read a description of Tim Curry's performance as Richelieu that emphasized how frightening he could be without supernatural powers. His character's authority, cruelty, and disregard for human life were enough.

[hears the scream of a prisoner being run through] "One less mouth to feed."

Screenshot From The Three Musketeers (1993) Film

Cardinal Richelieu - Staring Off Into The Distance

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That inspired:

Make authority absolute,

Pair it with cruelty and disregard for human life,

You don't need makeup to be scary,

If you do it right....

And that idea is important because it starts moving the poem away from monsters who look terrifying and toward something more unsettling:

Sometimes reality doesn't need special effects.

From Annie to Hexxus

The next sequence begins with another Tim Curry character:

Clowns to the left of me,

Jokers to the right,

Being stuck in the middle,

Compels me to fight.

Those first three lines are a nod to Rooster Hannigan in Annie.

"Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right..."

Images from Star Wars, Annie, and One Piece (Anime)

This is a puzzle for true Tim Curry fans.

Hint: Voice Acting

Good luck... Evil laughter ensues...

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Then I take a sharp turn into FernGully: The Last Rainforest.

Vibrant Rainforest With Mysterious Plants and Creatures

Love the blue creature that doesn't really exist except in this image

FernGully Soundtrack Cover Art

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The following stanzas draw from the song "Toxic Love," performed by Tim Curry as Hexxus, along with my own observations about Hexxus sucking up pollution and becoming larger and more powerful from it.

The original lyrics include imagery involving:

"Oil and grime, poison sludge"

"Diesel clouds and noxious muck"

"Slime beneath me"

So I transformed those ideas into:

Gas clouds,

Noxious muck,

Slime beneath me,

Monster will suck.

And yes, "Monster will suck" is deliberately doing several things at once.

"Monster will suck."

Back When Hexxus Was Weak

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Hexxus literally sucks up pollution in the movie. "Monsters suck" is also a general joke about movie monsters because they are evil and bad.

It's cheeky. Hmmm... did one of those words in the stanza need to be PG-ratified for the contest? 😂

Then I brought in:

Trees, animals, the world,

What's in the air,

Hexxus destroys it.

See if society cares!

That last line is intentionally a taunt.

Speaking of taunts...

"I know something you don't know." (Spoken In Sing-Songy Voice)

Alastair Taunting Charlie in Hazbin Hotel

Screenshot From Hazbin Hotel Series - Season One

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Finally, the fictional pollution monster gives way to the real world:

The world is on fire,

It's all going to shift,

The climate is expendable,

And the environment is taking a hit.

And this is not the good type of hit that Hexxus takes in the song "Toxic Love":

"Hit me one time

Hit me twice

Oh! Ah! Oh

Well, that's rather nice." 

 

"Ahhh... delicious... a first-class smoke. Mother's milk." — Hexxus

Screenshot From Ferngully: The Last Rainforest

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This is where the poem transitions from fictional terror to real-world concerns about wildfires, pollution, climate, and the deterioration of the environment—all things this poet (points to self) actually cares about in real life, too.

Hmmm... interesting word choices here.

The Ending: The Real King of Terrors

The final two stanzas are where the poem changes direction again.

Tim Curry As The Grand Wizard

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I wanted to connect Tim Curry directly to the contest theme:

Tim Curry was A King of Terror,

But I didn't want to end the poem simply by listing all the terrifying characters he has played.

"He took it on the chin."

Message Tim Curry Wanted Others To Take Away As His Legacy

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Tim Curry has experienced significant adversity in his own life, yet he continued working and acting after suffering a major health setback.

That made me think about the difference between fictional terror and real-life adversity.

A fictional villain can be terrifying because an actor makes the character terrifying.

But reality can be much scarier because there is no script, no special effects, and no guarantee of how the story will end.

That is why I ended with:

Reality can be more scary,

Than the fiction we watch and read,

Getting up after falling,

Is a masterful feat indeed.

The last line is my way of giving Tim Curry credit not merely for being an extraordinary performer, but for continuing to create and perform in the face of adversity.

The monsters may be fictional.

Getting back up is real.

And About That Disclaimer...

As for the final disclaimer:

I'm not telling you which word needed to be PG-ratified. 😂😜

Screenshot From Saturday Night Live

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Take your guess.

Maybe it's obvious.

Maybe it isn't.

Maybe the disclaimer itself is a red herring.

As one of the poem's own lines says:

Perceptions may vary.

And as another says:

You don't need makeup to be scary,

If you do it right....

Evil laughter ensues.... 😈